Rest.In.Peace

I had a dream or what most people say, a sign last night that I saw my grandfather's body being carried to the cemetery. Then this morning I received a brief text message from my sister and according to my mum, he passed away in his sleep this morning. I was shocked, cried silently when my friends were not looking and blamed myself because I cannot attend his funeral in Kedah. 

I remember how my grandfather loves to carry my sister and I on his bicycle around our kampung, cooked us lunch while waiting for my grandmother to come back from rubber-tapping and buy ice-cream for both of us. However it was not too long that he was bitten by a snake and had caused him to be deaf permanently. Over the time, he became senile; I know...old people forgets everything but he remembered his two sons, constantly uttering "Azizan" and "Amran" from his mouth.

I do not know if he remembered me or not as I started schooling and rarely spend my time in the kampung. For over eighteen years I think that I have lived apart from my grandfather, spending the best moments with my late grandmother only. Then my grandmother passed away last year and my uncle and my father alternately took care of my grandfather. 

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Poor my father because my uncle is in Mecca at the moment, and he has to handle the funeral, kenduri arwah etc since there are only the two of them in the family. I know that some people will think that I am such a useless grandson but believe me that my prayers are always with him. I know Allah loves him more, but what a grandson to do? May he rest in peace, insyaallah.

Al-Fatihah to my late grandfather, Aziz Bin Jamal.