Alhamdulillah, I think that Allah has shown me what pain is when I was so busy enjoying myself all these while. He gives me such an unbearable pain, and now I realize that I need to go back to where I should be. I pray to Allah everyday to cure my sicknesses as I don't want to trouble anyone anymore. And I tell Allah every time in my prayer that I need strength to change myself, and my miserable life.
Well, somebody told me that the best talk you would have is the talk with Allah, when you perform your prayer and stay on your prayer mat to say a few word because He will be listening. Nevertheless, I have missed that talk for quite a while now, and look at how far I have misled. I really hope that one day I will get to change my everything to be a real Muslim, and a good son as well.
I am glad that I am having this pain now, because someone else did not.