I pray,

I pray that this time will be real, 

that they will come to Sungai Petani 

and together we can witness Imran's wedding. 

Oh God, help us please? 

I don't want all efforts just go down the drain,

I am so excited to see them here,

I have lots of activities in mind,

To make their coming here worth the visit.

P/S: Sorry for being so exasperating to some people lately, 

it's the time of the month dear,

when guys have PMS.

From the blogger,

Today marks the end of “Boosting Self-esteem” campaign by LoveHateVosovic. I must say that it was a significant accomplishment for me so far, because that was my first time handling a campaign through the internet. I have written lots of thoughts in my blog, and you guys and girls can check them out in the November issue. 

I must thank Mr. iGossip and Miss  Sweet Nonsensicality o’ Mine for cooperating with me in making this campaign a reality. Well, they did their generous part by writing about self-esteem in their blog. Thank you also to whomever that contributed their part, directly or indirectly along with the campaign of “Boosting Self-esteem”, inspired by LoveHateVosovic.

And here is an announcement because December is waiting with new challenges, anticipation and surprise. We all are familiar with this issue; and in fact we have read, listened and witnessed the case of violence happening around the world. Be it the cases of man beating the wife, mother torturing the child, and a girl who killed her own cats, we are all dealing with this every day.

Many cases of violence out there remain unreported, leaving the offender uncharged and the victim unhealed. This is not fair actually, as some people still do not know that certain actions are actually a crime and violent to the victim. This issue is very wide, as I can write about domestic violence, gender discrimination, violence towards animals and many more. I hope that my writing will help certain people to learn better about violence, the causes, its effects, the examples and ways to overcome it. I am not an expert by the way, but at least I can share to all of you right? Something is better than nothing, so please do your part.

This is the issue for December, violence around the world. I name this campaign, “World against Violence” and I hope that we can all take our part. We should spread to the whole world that violence is not accepted, in every way that it is committed. Now, let me start December with some education about violence, so don’t forget to check out my blog and leave out your point of thoughts okay? I need support from all of you, love-hate followers, friends and visitors. Make way for “World against Violence” campaign, inspired by LoveHateVosovic.

Take care and God bless,

Azham Vosovic

There Goes My Self-esteem

My husband wanted to leave home,

He said that I was too fat for the family.

I have been putting up a lot of weight

After I gave birth to my last boy Danny.

So I started to eat carrot only for lunch,

But it did not help when I was up on the scale.

He was furious for I had not tried my best,

He gave me a bottle of pills and vinegar to cut the fat.

I was mad, felt as though I was his lab rat

But his love for the marriage is my concern.

I jog everyday at the park, and when he saw me

Running, the world lit up my life again.

For a moment, I realized that he will stay for the family,

But I know that he will leave me if I stop trying.

I need a rest; I went to the stall and ordered a burger,

I ate it all and there goes my self-esteem.

My own “Family Portrait”

I have a better relationship with my mother only when we both are not in the same house. Well, when I am far away in college and she will call me every weekend just to make sure that her son is okay.  My mother will call me for hours and then our fights will end in just a call. Unlike the condition at home, I will keep on sulking and not talking to her for days until she makes the truce. If we both were in the same house, we will argue about so many things. She still think that a dress is sexy; when I consider that it is better that the girl still put on something to cover their body.

I hate it when I go back to my hometown, and rather stay back in my hostel for my holidays. I am actually sick of the unnecessary fights I had with my family members because we are not like our neighbor's family. They seem happy together while I am struggling to fit in with my family. Sometimes I just wish that I can do a part time job in the city and call them from afar about my condition; then only I can feel their love and care for me.

It is a norm that we will be okay on my first and second day at home, but things will turn sour after almost a week. However, I am a very egoistic son of hers because I think that I should not apologize for the things that I did not start. I learnt it from the best actually, my mum and dad. When I was a kid, they will fight in front of my siblings and I but we cannot do anything because “they are adults, they should know what to do blah...blah..blah...”. 

My father and I are like strangers; I rarely call him or even send him text messages but I know that he loves me. I gave him a t-shirt that I bought in Kuala Lumpur and he smiled at it.

When I asked him, “So Abah, can you wear the t-shirt?”, he looked the other way and said “I haven’t tried it, I will do it later”.

It breaks my heart and I nearly cried because it seems like he picks on me. I will always be the one left out; he gives more attention to my younger sister and brother. Maybe he thought that I am the eldest, so I can take care of myself. He thought it wrong because I am actually the most fragile among all.  Until today, I am still waiting for him to wear the t-shirt I bought him. Maybe he will just keep it in the wardrobe and take it out only when I am away in college or give it to my little brother who is basically the same size as him? I know he loves us equally, and he loves me too but he did not want to show it. I will always console myself and say,

“Well, that is how a father should behave, like in the movies right?”, and then I will cry until I fall asleep.

My sister and I, we don’t really talk, just on some important things or maybe when she needs my help. It seems like her birth was the cause of my lack of love and attention. My little brother and I used to be so close, until I left home for college. Maybe he felt a huge distance and I cannot fit in as a brother anymore. Maybe he is traumatized with too many dramas in our family? Maybe his friends can give him all the love he needs? That will remain as a question for him next time.

At home, life is so lonely when my parents go out to work, my sister will leave house for her tuition classes and my brother will be picked up by his friends. The TV and my hand phone will be my best friends. Sometimes, I will ride the motorcycle and go to places that I have never been in my hometown. I used to have a place to go, but that was until my grandmother passed away a few months ago.

My grandmother, she is another influential woman in my life.  I love her like a best friend, until I can sense my mother’s jealousy. My grandmother had all her time for me, and will cook my favourite dishes each time I go back to her house. Her house used to be my hiding place when my mother wanted to hit me. My grandmother came out of the house and I hid behind her. She said to my mother that she should hit her first, and then only she could hit me. That was a very touching moment, and my mother stopped. Maybe she thought that she was being irrational, I do not know as I have never asked her about that incident anymore.

Now, my grandmother had passed away, leaving me all alone here. No one can ever replace her “paceri terung”, or “cendol” and “cucur udang”. Nothing tastes better now, even when my mother tried to imitate my late grandmother’s cooking. She regretted that she did not manage to learn how to make “ketupat” because we have to ask other people to make “ketupat” for us during Eid this year.

This is my very own family portrait, the stories about my family. This is not me regretting everything about my family, but just a remindful writing to all of you about the bitter sweet memories of having a group of people we call family. I love my family even when I said bad things about them because they are still my mother, father, brother and sister. I love them deep inside my sensitive heart and may God bless my family members with wealth and health. Al-Fatihah to my late grandmother. 

My mother, my daddy and ... but where are my other siblings? They are too busy for a family portrait I guess?

P/S: This is just a short story.

Random Pictures: More advanced birthday gifts!

Tudor Gold Almond by Kamal Khairi.

Thank you darling!

I treat myself with 3 pieces of Mega Mix Cruch chicken!

A lonely trip to KFC Brickfields, but it's okay.

A gift from Diba, but only to be open on December 15.

Gosh, I am sure this will cost her a hundred! 

Thank you so much P.I.C!

Another chocolate from Rina Bberi!

Thank you Sagittarian!

Her birth date is on December 8.

Camior from Tnal_Gaga! 

Thank you darling!

Good luck in your relationship!

A bottle of notes from Diba. 

Those notes are to be open starting on the first day of December only.

Thanks P.I.C

Some notes from Diba the Dibot.

Lots of gifts! 

Thank you guys and girls.

This is the first time ever in my life 

That I have received lots of presents for my birthday celebration.

Well, that's a happy advanced birthday celebration then!

I will turn 19 this December 15!

To all who still remember my birth date, 

Thank you so much.

It's not about the amount of presents I get,

But the remembrance touches my heart.

God bless all of you!

Farewell

Mr. Vosovic is leaving the city 

that had taught him a lot

 about life.

He's going to do many 

unexpected things during the holidays, 

so people please be informed. 

Bye-bye Kuala Lumpur, hello Penang!

Tagged by Sizzling Suzai!

"Once you have been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things,  facts or goal about yourself. At the end,choose 5 people to be tagged and you have to tag the person who had tagged you. If I tag you, it's because I want to know more about you."


25 Facts about Mr. Vosovic!

1) My full name is Mohd Azham Bin Amran.

2) I am known as Azham Vosovic in Facebook and Blogspot. 

3) I am the eldest in my family, and I have a younger sister and a younger brother.

4) I have always wanted an elder brother and sister since I was a kid, but now I have Kak Miza as my big sister. I am looking forward for anyone who is willing to be my elder brother, so please do not forget to text me okay?

5) I am a Sagittarian and I was born on December 15, 1991. I share the same birth date with Adam Brody from The O.C!

6) I love sad movies, so that I can cry silently in the cinema!

7) If I am sad, you will see me around Pavilion, KLCC or Berjaya Times Square. That is when I start to think back about my life and past mistakes.

8) I love to go shopping alone! So, please respect it people.

9) My first ambition is to be an English teacher, so I am currently pursuing my dream!

10) I would like to model for runway shows, so anybody interested, please call me.

11) I love to sing until my mum said that she should turn off the radio and hear me sing in the car. 

12) If I were given a chance, I would love to sing with Beyonce, Taylor Swift and Pink!

13) I have double identities. You can see me sometimes as Azham and at times I will change my mode to Paris Hilton, it's true!

14) I hate liars, hypocrites and sometimes myself.

15) I can stuff myself with food, get fat today and the next day I will be skinny again. My metabolism rate is very efficient!

16) I am scared of clowns/mascot etc since I was a kid!

17) I have never been to Johor! Well, that's a fact, plus Sabah and Sarawak too.

18) My favorite TV series are Gossip Girl, CSI: Las Vegas and CSI: Miami, Ugly Betty, Desperate Housewives, Glee, Simple Life, Roswell, Kyle XY and lots more.

19) I love to read magazine at Kinokuniya KLCC. Well, I can save my money and trees!

20) I am glad that I am going to further my studies in University Putra Malaysia in 2012 as I can experience a more challenging life in university.

21) I am a supersensitive person, so people, BEWARE!

22) My mother did not like the idea of me being a police officer as both of my parents, grandfather, auntie, uncle and my late cousin are also in the same profession even though I found out that being a police officer is cool!


23) I cannot imagine myself working in an office, from 8 am until 5 pm. I am very thankful to Allah that I will start working as a teacher in four years time. Wow, that's a very long way to go but at least, I am a step ahead right?

24) It is true that I criticize people through my blog. I just cannot express my anger in front of people because I will start to cry. It happened a lot, especially in Mr. Mano's class. Sorry sir! Love you!

25) I have lots of secrets too, and it will hurt some people if I tell them the truth. That is why I prefer to keep my secrets to myself because I know myself better.

Guys and girls, thank you for reading all 25 facts about myself, for dropping by my blog and for bearing with my attitude(s). I love all of you, from the deepest part of my heart. Take care darlings! Love you!

P/S: 25 facts are still not enough for you to get to know me better.

Thank you to Sizzlingsuzai for tagging me! 

Now, I would like to tag:

Jaazli Ahmad

Tnal_GaGa

Diba the Dibot

Minty Mint

Amalina Sulaiman

And also to all who are willing to do this tag! Please notify me as I would like to know you better as well! Salam and God bless you!

Dear Diba, my P.I.C

Dear Diba, 

I will never forget all memories with you,

Event though I am in a relationship now.

I just hope that my current status will not drift us away.

Well, I'll pray for the best for you and SB as well.

I know, you still love him.

Just try and get his attention back yea?

Thank you so much for everything, best of luck to you!

P/S: You are one of the best Partner-In-Crime,

The one who taught me on how to go clubbing!

Yea, this is me in my fugly mode!

Self-esteem: Stop Homophobic Bullying!

Look at this poor little school boy,

And this boy as well. Both of them are gays but they are not accepted as part of the community. They are the unwanted gender at their place, and even sometimes their parents disown them.

In another school, the students accept everyone as equal, be it the boys are gays or the girls are lesbians; they have the same degree of acceptance as other straight kids receive in school. Let me define what is happening to both schools okay? The students in School A are being bullied because they are homosexuals while the students in School B accept every student as the same, regardless of their sexual preferences. This situation is defined as being "homophobia".

You know, some people tend to judge others differently in their perspectives and in this case, the straight guys or girls will insult the homosexuals just because they have desire for people of the same sex. Honestly, do you guys and girls think that this is fair? The homosexuals are being criticized by a group of people who do not know at all the in-and-out of a homosexual person, and their voice is not being heard and recognized at all. 

There are efforts by Non-Government Organizations (NGOs), religious institute and political parties to try and cure homosexuality of a person but mind you, homosexuality is something that you are born with. It is naturally embedded in someone's body, and nurtured by external surroundings. You cannot expect a person to drastically change their sexual preferences in a split second. If you still want them to change, you have to spare them some time, and see their progressions. Some people have this thought that gays and lesbians did not try to change and try to be normal. I would directly say to the person that,

 "If one day you are asked to love a guy, while you yourself are a guy who loves a girl, can you do it naturally? That is the same thing that the gays and lesbians feel once they are asked to act normal".

Gosh, that is not easy to be done I tell you.

There is no cure for being homosexual because if there is any, I am sure that all gays and lesbians will be "straighter" than the straights, right? 

And when they are bullying their peers, they have forgotten the fact that lesbians and gays can one day be a good daughters, sons, fathers, mothers, sisters, brothers and all the things that you can name. Please, gays and lesbians deserve a place to live with, to feel accepted for their sexuality.

Some tried to promote hatred toward gays and lesbians by not allowing them to get married. I would say that if it is allowed in their community, religion and people, then who are you to stop it? If it is not allowed, then I guess these couples need to flee to other planet in order to get married. Well, maybe we should ban homophobic marriage as well, so that they will know how does it feel when you cannot get married.

(Okay now I am feeling very angry, RTM, please do not ban me!)

For me, homophobic should learn to accept others, and not to judge.

That is the only thing that I feel can help gays and lesbians to feel as part of the society.

Can you guys and girls do that? Accept everyone as equal and no judging is allowed?

Now, let me ask all of you this simple question.

What are you going to do about it?

Well, let's take some time and ponder about it.

As for me, I would suggest that we all try to change our mindset and erase the hatred for gays and girls.

We should throw away our old-fashioned way of thinking into the trash bin.

We should accept everyone as the same, and no judging.

Can you all do this?

Tell our children that they should not bully anyone at all, and of course when they are gays and lesbians. As teachers, listen to our children's problem and be a good observer. Never let other people's perspective cloud your judgement, go on with it if you feel that it is alright for you to accept homosexuals. Next, please do not stereotype gays and lesbians as the people who will rot in hell. I am very sure that not all straight guys and girls will directly get express pass to heaven right? It all depends on how we carry ourselves.

Well, I guess that is all for my rambling this time. Let's cooperate with the month of "Self-esteem", inspired by LoveHateVosovic. Take care and God bless you.