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Friday, February 17, 2012

Confused Identity

:Background Music:
Florence + The Machines-Shake It Out

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Sometimes what I wrote in my blog is not how it seems. I gave a sorrow life some fusion of colours and twisted a happy life with torment words and misery--that is the beauty of what a writer can do, lies in the imagination and the blend of superficial thinking. I admit that some of my writings are not true, that I fake some of the relationships embedded in this blog. I am not that decent okay; I write most of my writings in my point of view although I am in no way connected to the story. 

That is what bothers me, that some of the stories are made up just for your reading pleasure. I wish that whatever written here is real and I don't have to counterfeit anything to anyone anymore. Some of you would feel misguided right so let me clear this; I am sad because of the artificiality in my writing. 

I have become the blogger who had lost his self; I care for my blog's traffic, my earning and the number of followers. I have stopped writing for myself, my language practice and poetry; I have strayed too far I need a reverse or some kind of a do-over. Excuse me people, I confused everybody in the making of my own identity.

:Glossary:

Seems           : nampak
Sorrow          : kesedihan
Fusion          : gabungan
Twisted         : menukar
Torment         : seksaan
Writings        : penulisan
Misery          : kesusahan
Lies            : terkandung
Blend           : ramuan
Superficial     : cetek
Admit           : mengaku
Embedded        : tersirat
Decent          : baik
Bothers         : mengganggu
Made up         : dibuat-buat
Counterfeit     : memalsukan
Misguided       : tertipu, tersesat
Artificiality   : kepalsuan
Self            : diri sendiri
Strayed         : tersesat
Do-over         : melakukan sesuatu kembali
Confused        : mengelirukan

23 comments:

Muhammad Saiazuan Norhalik said...

u seems lost a lil.. hmm trafik is one that i care most before this, but what i care more this now is having a great comment from my dear followers.. i'm determined to write the greatest entry in every entry..

Eazy Izzuddin said...

kenapakah awk?
jgn stop blogging..
=D

biela bell said...

woooo..susah jugak kan nie..
tapi dulu bell pun camtu..semata2 nak kejar traffic etc..tapi..sekarang rasanya tak kot...entri kluar dari hati diterjemah melalui penulisan.heehe.
tapi pun klu entri dibuat2 tapi dpt beri info kpd pembaca its ok..erkk..paham ke apa saya merepekkan nie.hahah ;p

CekbOlat-bOlat said...

aik? takkan cite pegi jln2 tipu? oh,rileksla.. identiti itu prlukan masa.. kdg2 kita nk luah prasaan dekat public ni prlu tapis so 'berpura' kan? hurm..

sbb tu bolat tak prnah kesah traffic blog.. ape yg penting keikhlsan nk mnyampaikan something even ape yg bolat tulis merapu..dem !

bolat je tak tapis.. haha.. sir, jgn sdih2.. kami ada (^^,)
*trpanjang pula -_-

NiGhTiNaNgLe_FARA said...

love this!

hehe..

your style is your identity..

suzie rahman said...

salam.aii..sihat? klu nak traffic tu tinggi.jgn guna sidebar belah kiri. ada efek kt seacrh enjin.selamat berblogging..

Azham Vosovic said...

Zuan: lost kan? tak sangka kau perasan...bagus betul! Yeap, itu dulu...sekarang aku nak kembali menulis untuk kepuasan diri....

Eazy: insyaallah...selagi Allah izinkan sy akan ttp menulis....

Biela: huhu, kan kan kan? dah ramai blogger terjebak dgn benda ni...sedih sangat...nilai sebenar sebuah penulisan tu dah pudar dek kerana earning...

Azham Vosovic said...

Bolat: haha, sesetengah tu rekaan...pelik kan? mesti korang tak perasan...tp sy da tak tahan menanggung rasa bersalah ni....

Fara: hehe, thanks dear! My style is my identity...

Suzie: wa'salam sehat... siderbar belah kiri? huhu...entah lah...da malas nk pikir hehe

Anif Abdullah| AA said...

what's going on?hm,kadang2 rasa cmtuh lah bila dh blogging ni..tapi teruskan menulis k :)

Azham Vosovic said...

AA: tiba2 rasa diri ni lost kejap...serious rasa mcm tu huhuhu

sYukCurz said...

dont loose urself. keep writing whatever u like. It's u, no matter ppl like it or not, u should writing from ur truly heart.

ZWAN SABRI said...

Normal la tu.. ramai blogger yg impikan trafik yg tinggi.. tp jgn benti blog naa.. suka baca blog hang.. dpt improve english aku.. ;)

semutsengal said...

tak semua benda kita boleh share.


kadangkdang yg sedih tu kita buatlah jadi gembira


=)

rozeeta rashid said...

nah ambik gps ni. find your way back! hehe.

aleen aiden said...

atau mungkin sebab kau tulis begitu untuk sedapkan hati kau sendiri? bertabahlah kau disana. semua yang terjadi pasti ada sebabnya. :)

Kayun.Zack said...

actually, saya kurang paham apa yg dimaksudkn dengan 'lost' tuh. hehe, maybe sebab saya pun baru kenal dengan your blog and you lately ni. but it's nice to know you and this blog is one of my fav blogs too now!

Azham Vosovic said...

syuk: thanks for dropping by! hehe, insyaallah I will be more careful next time...

ZWAN: hurm, are you serious about liking my blog? haha, alhamdulillah hehe, insyaallah I will keep on writing ;)

rozeeta: hehe, baiknya! I claim nti hehehe

Azham Vosovic said...

aleen: hehe, entahlah...dulu I tulis sbb nk improve my English, but now it is not anymore huhu...(some of the blog posts) hahaha...

Kayun: hehe, lost in translation...yeah, myb sbb u baru lagi hehe...seriously one of your favorite? Alhamdulillah, sy bersyukur sgt hehe

Hanie Dew said...

tak perlu rasa bersalah. kekeliruan itu penting untuk mencari identiti. chewah. ko tgk ayat aku.hahahaha.

yang penting ikhlas. tak bole puaskan hati semua orang. kalau kita tulis dari pandangan kita sendiri, orang lain pun ada pendangan mereka jugak.

kalau nak tulis dari sudut pandangan orang lain, sapa nak peduli pandangan kita jugak.

adei panjangnya komen aku. aku pun tak tau ko paham ke tak. hehehe..

.izzati liyana. said...

well, i think most bloggers pon akan rasa mcm yg u rasa. its good enough that u have found your way back. for me, traffic is not so important. sbb kepuasan menulis tu akan hilang bila kita sibuk fikir pasal tu. actually, depend on the purpose u buat blog jgk. :)

Azham Vosovic said...

Hanie: hehe, kau ni baik la...selalu komen panjang2...terharu aku rasa huhuhuh.... insyaallah, semuanya bermula drp penulis itu sendiri... kalau I rasa I perlu tulis utk puaskan orang maknanya I dah salah....

izzati: hehe, right? Alhamdulillah, I have found my own way home. Insyaallah, I will focus on my likings in blogging later on hehe

Jue said...

normal la tu beb...dlm kita blogging neh..ade satu stage tu kita akn lost ngan arah tuju kita..zuan tu dulu pun pnah brada kat stage tu..i was there when he lost..giving advise apa yg mampu as virtual friend that is care..sdangkan waktu tu aku ngan zuan mn kenal rapat pun, jumpe pun x until the gathering

same as u, feeling lost itu bgs..umpama kita judge diri kita blk..slowly..semangat blogging tu akn dtg blk..yg plg ptg, jgn ilang identiti diri.. u can do this

Azham Vosovic said...

Jue: thanks Jue, sebab sudi datang sini....sedih sangat masa tengah lost tu....syukur sebab sekarang mula tersedar...masih ada masa untuk berubah...

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